April 2010


I can knit! Can’t do socks yet, there seems to be more wrist action going on there than I would have anticipated, but I can work on straights. So I am knitting a shawl, because I hate seaming which is why I work in the round in the first place. I mean, to me as a seamstress, one of the coolest things about knitting is that you play with string for a while and then a finished object happens. (At least, it does if you are the sort of person who actually finishes anything, as opposed to my chronic ‘startitis’, but that is a whole other discussion).

So I started a shawl. Cast on seven stitches, started increasing on the ends and at the centre with some vague idea of stripes and perhaps a bit of lace. But not too much lace because what I’m actually going for is warm and practical rather than pretty. Also easy, because k2tog were giving me some trouble during the sock attempt. (yes, that is pathetic.)

By the way, I saw my x-rays yesterday. Holy hardware store, batman! I for some reason thought that medical screws were tiny, specially made items which would be carefully and delicately inserted by precision instruments. I was mistaken. Apparently they just sterilize a couple of wood screws and dive on in there with a Robertson. (that is the square headed one, which was invented by a Canadian and we like it.) anyway, no wonder my scar is so big, it looks like they were building a deck in there or something! /aside

So I’m knitting. At some point quite early on the stripes were abandoned as I began to consider cables. The lace went out the door at this point also. But just sticking in cables seemed kind of gratuitous, since let’s be honest, it only came up because I think cabling is neat.

And then Raven wandered by wearing the dressing gown I made with twining snakes appliquéd all over it and I thought “ooh, I could make the cables into snakes! Then I could have a matching shawl, sort of!” So that is what I am doing. It may be ghastly, I don’t know. I can’t really see it without taking it off the needles, which sounds like work, and there is no pattern, I have just randomly started making snakes as I go along. But I am knitting!

Lookit me, mom, I’m typing!  Well ok actually, everybody except Stalkermom and any of you out there with extremely mom-like tendencies lookit me.  Otherwise avert your eyes, I haven’t figured out yet whether I’m going to regret this later or not.

I have a vitally important reason for attempting this though… I have received new information regarding my broken arm.  I’ve been saying all along that the responsible sheep (who I am pretty sure was Chloe, but what do I know, I was lying on the ground waiting for the pieces of the world to re-assemble) was innocent; that it was an accident rather than a malicious attack.  Now, however, the truth has been revealed – my sheep was under the malevolent mind-control of my (thus) brand-new arch-nemesis Dani, crafty podcaster and villain extraordinaire.

Yes, in traditional arch-villainous fashion, Dani has admitted to her nefarious scheme.  Unfortunately the whole thing was retroactive, so I was unable to take advantage of her speechifying to dodge the sheep and save my own arse.  Or in this case, arm.  We may still need a little work perfecting this nemesis thing.  However!  Now I know to be on the lookout.  It is clearly my duty, as well as my new means of procrastinating getting anything real done, to keep my eye on this girl.  Society must be warned about her underhanded attempts to take over (or at least over-analyse) the crafting world, not to mention future attempts on my own well-being.  Or possibly I could just remember to take my pills and damp down this paranoia – but where’s the fun in that?

If you’re wondering what the hell I’m talking about right now – well, I’m not going to try and explain it here, you’ll just have to go listen to the Craft Culture podcast and try to figure it out.  But be warned!  She will try to charm you with her approachable personality, her so-familiar to so many of us artsy instability, her multiple projects on the go, her many talents… Don’t be deceived!  She is a charming, talented, crazy Monster! Beware!

Speaking of monsters, last monday was the final day of Workin’ Mom In The Sweatshop, and it all went very well.  See, I was working on this show.  Moliere.  Two one-acts, in fact.  Planning to be done on March 31.  (Which I totally would have been, by the way, even CK admits it, and she always mocks my sewing-in-the-car-on-the-way-to-the-event tendencies).  And then, the arm.  Ever tried to costume a show single-handedly, as it were?  I mean, I do it all the time in the euphemistic sense, but literally?  Not happening.  Even if I hadn’t been ricocheting between Horrible Pain and Stoned on Percoset, it was not going to happen.  So to my very great relief (because I was going to have to ask her and hated to do so) CK offered to step in and finish the sewing.  Followed a week of crazy back-breaking (unfortunately a little too actually back-hurting in CK’s case) work, but we did it.  And we didn’t even fight.  Yes, we had some lively debates about the horrors that pass for embellishment in the 17th century, but that’s just because they’re ugly.

So here’s a quick taste – I have a lot of photos but haven’t actually looked at all of them yet, so only a couple today.  And I’m going to just post them and cut this off abruptly, because it has just come to my attention that I cannot actually type this much yet.  So enjoy the pretty pictures – I’m going to go crack a Guinness and mutter at Dani under my breath.

One last note, and then I am seriously diving for that Guinness – that last gingham dress was 100% Clare Kilpatrick.  I had a notional idea of where I wanted to go with it, but had done nothing at all about it, and when I showed up the following day (and by “showed up” I mean called and said “mommy can I have a ride now” because nobody will let me drive yet), there it was.  In case there was anybody left anywhere who doubted that I come by my crazy fibre tendencies honestly.

Hey everybody, thank you so much for your concern and lighthearted mockery! No really, I mean it. I’ve been doing a pile of nothing much – cut two dresses with CK the other day (she having Very Generously offered to finish this show or I and the company would have been screwed!) It turns out, whatever it is I do might actually be HARD – at least it is with one arm. I was totally knocked out the next day, and am still doing basically nothing but enjoying the gorgeous weather. And wishing I could do something else!
The good news for me has been, I bought a new (to me) toy. Yes, I too can now sign emails with the cool-to-be-geeky tag, “from my iPod”. Which is where I’m typing this post from too, so I’m afraid there’s nothing much in the way of pictures today, as I haven’ t got any on here yet. Except those down below, which is apparently the only way I can load ’em from here, how annoying.
Well, annoying or not it is MUCH easier (don’t see any itallics either) to type on this tiny silly keypad, so I can post… and learning this thing and setting it up has kept me amused when I might otherwise have gone mad(der).
So the pictures that it promises to show, which I have no idea what they will look like, were drawn on said iPod with a silly little app that is loads of fun. Not that the pictures themselves are anything much, but as a way of sketching and developing ideas for later, “realler” stuff this is a blast.

Edit: ok I checked ’em out on a real monitor and I still like ’em! Yeah!